Fish Fingers
by deepfathom
Summary: Jimmy figures out the hard way exactly what NOT to do in the Amazon jungle. Just a little one-shot.


**Fish Fingers**

"AAAAIIIIIEEEAAAAGGGHH!"

The bloodcurdling shriek echoed through the entrance of the Tortuga from the thick Brazilian jungle outside, causing both Aviva and Koki to jump in fright. After an alarmed glance, the two of them bolted for the door in time for it to slide open and admit three people in a terrible rush.

"I'll get the first-aid kit!" The girls were nearly flattened as Martin darted in first, not stopping to explain or even acknowledge their existence. Then came Chris, supporting a very pale and distressed Jimmy.

Aviva gasped. "What hap—" she started, but her question was drowned out as their pilot let loose with another wail of pain.

"YOWWWW!" he screamed as Chris helped him over to the flat, circular platform at the center of the room and sat him down. "Oh, the pain! Oh, the agony!" he moaned dramatically, lying back with a hand draped across his forehead as Martin dashed back over with the kit.

The girls followed close in their footsteps, both very concerned and anxious to get a better look and a straight answer from somebody.

"Guys!" said Koki, jumping up and down to try and see over the brothers, who were bent over Jimmy and obscuring her view. "Guys! What's wrong with Jimmy?!"

"What's wrong with Jimmy?" Jimmy howled, sitting up again and shoving Chris aside. "I'll tell you what's wrong with Jimmy! _This_!" He held out his left hand. Firmly attached to his index finger by the jaws and showing no signs of letting go any time soon was a small, very determined, and very angry-looking fish.

"Eek!" Koki immediately stepped back in shock and disgust. "What _is_ that thing?!"

"Yeesh!" Aviva's eyes widened. "I think it's a…"

"Piranha," the brothers answered in tandem.

"Who cares what it is?!" Jimmy cried, squeezing his eyes shut. "JUST GET IT OFF MY FINGER! OW-OW-OW!"

Chris pushed him back down. "Ok, try to relax, JZ…"

"Relax?" Jimmy sat up again, brandishing his hand, fish and all, at him. "_Relax_?! How am I supposed to relax when my _finger_ is probably already half-digested by this…this _thing_?! My life is over! I'll never be able to use my controller again! No more teleporting creature power discs and peanut butter sandwiches! No more gaming! AAAA!"

Martin, who was still rummaging around inside the first aid kit, leaned over to Aviva without looking up. "Do we keep any sedatives in this thing?" he muttered.

"Um…no."

Meanwhile, Chris forced Jimmy down again. "C'mon, Jimmy, we can't help you if you don't stay still. Besides, we told you not to stick your hand in the river…"

Once again, the pilot sat bolt upright. "It was greasy! I'd just eaten some pizza and I needed to wash it off _somewhere_!"

Aviva shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, but in the Amazon River?!"

"It must've liked that pizza smell," Koki said from her current position by the wall.

"Obviously," agreed Aviva.

"Ok," said Martin, holding up a pair of pliers and a roll of bandages, "time to operate."

"Operate?!" Jimmy blurted. "Is this gonna hurt? Huh? Is it?"

"Not—rrgh!—if you stay still and—rrgh!—let us get it off!" Chris grunted through gritted teeth as he fought Jimmy onto the platform again and pinned him there. "Aviva? A little help here?"

"Wait!" Jimmy pleaded as Martin pulled down an operating-room style lamp and switched it on. "Wait, will I ever be able to play the piano again after this?!"

"I didn't know you played the piano," said Aviva, cocking an eyebrow as she held on to his other arm.

"Yeah, well I've been meaning to start. What about the Tortuga?!"

"What _about_ the Tortuga?" Martin asked, slipping on a pair of safety goggles and some super-thick gloves.

"Who's gonna fly it?"

"I think you can fly without a finger," Koki piped up, still standing by the opposite wall.

"SHHH!" Chris shook his head frantically at her and made a slicing don't-say-that gesture with a hand across his throat.

"AAAA!" Jimmy screamed, struggling to break free from Aviva and Chris. "AA! AA! AA! My own friends have turned against me! I'M GONNA LOSE MY FINGER TO A FISH! HELP!"

"Huh!" Martin grinned, holding something up. "Look at that! It's off!"

"Wha…?" Jimmy stopped thrashing around and looked up. Pinched carefully between two of Martin's fingers was the little wriggling fish that had caused all the trouble.

"See? While you were busy yelling, I pried it off. And you still have, let's see…one, two, three, four, _five_ fingers! Maybe it decided it didn't like the way you taste—WHOA!"

The angry fish flipped out of Martin's hand and fell to the floor. After that, the place went haywire.

"YIKES!" Koki shrieked, jumping on top of her computer console as the little piranha flopped by, tiny jaws snapping. "Maniac fish on the loose!"

Likewise, Aviva scrambled up the platform and into an unprepared Chris's arms, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"OOF!" Chris huffed, trying not to overbalance and tip over.

"It's ok, it's ok!" Martin yelled over the noise. "Everybody calm—YIPE!" He hopped out of the way just as the fish bounced past him and out the door. For a second after it made its exit, nobody dared to move.

"Is it gone?" Koki squeaked, wide-eyed and shaking.

Martin lifted the goggles to his forehead. "Yup. That fish is history. Woo-hoo! What an adrenaline rush, huh guys?"

Chris deposited Aviva back on the floor and rubbed his ears. "Between you and Jimmy, I think I'm going deaf."

Aviva winced. "Oops! Sorry."

"Well," Martin turned back to Jimmy, "now that _that's_ over with, let's get that finger taken care of."

Jimmy sat up slowly and held out his hand. For the next five minutes, he was careful not to watch as his finger was cleaned and wrapped up in a wad of white bandages.

"Done!" Martin said cheerfully. "You can take a look now, if you want."

Everyone in the room held their breath as Jimmy turned to gape at his damaged digit. After a brief examination of Martin's handiwork, his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Uuuuugh…" he groaned as he sprawled out cold on the platform.

"Y'know," Martin said, rubbing his chin. "it would've made things a lot easier if he'd done that ten minutes ago."


End file.
